He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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