"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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