I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
