If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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