hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize