I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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