All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
