he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
