he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sex in a hospital.. check
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
