11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
