The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
