I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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