just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
