We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
