Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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