remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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