plz talk dirty to me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
