Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
