I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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