I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
