i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
