Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
