I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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