Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
