if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
