I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
