Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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