There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
