If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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