Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
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the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.