We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.