Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You know you think of me naked too

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not since I found Jesus

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  (360): You know you think of me naked too (210): Not since I found Jesus http://tfl.nu/jext
  Replies (14) Good night (896) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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  (903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird? (214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb? http://tfl.nu/cbow
  Replies (87) Good night (1829) Bad night (5166)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (6119) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5475) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.

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  (321): Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school. http://tfl.nu/sa6n
  Replies (15) Good night (3452) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina

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  (912): Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina http://tfl.nu/x70u
  Replies (16) Good night (1308) Bad night (3806)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (37) Good night (2323) Bad night (4294)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night

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  (410): that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night http://tfl.nu/xnkt
  Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct

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  (207): my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct http://tfl.nu/asi5
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high

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  (408): Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high http://tfl.nu/gssl
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!

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  (859): I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS! http://tfl.nu/rgig
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

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  (501): I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest. http://tfl.nu/ic86
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him

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  (630): Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him http://tfl.nu/2qnz
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.

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  (845): All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along. http://tfl.nu/lu02
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (171)

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