Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!

  (630): View more from Illinois

  U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?

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  (630): Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins? (313): Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats! (630): U look good, r we getting naked in ur car? http://tfl.nu/yxpj
  Replies (16) Good night (1249) Bad night (1141)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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  (616): when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me. (248): who is this? http://tfl.nu/n5nl
  Replies (4) Good night (1124) Bad night (1030)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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  (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y
  Replies (11) Good night (2100) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food

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  (207): watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food http://tfl.nu/6rf4
  Replies (32) Good night (1043) Bad night (2103)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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  (978): my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/9a64
  Replies (17) Good night (762) Bad night (3827)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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  (860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora http://tfl.nu/wtuh
  Replies (19) Good night (4735) Bad night (1835)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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  (605): I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum. http://tfl.nu/8vy8
  Replies (13) Good night (5026) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.

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  (303): He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool. http://tfl.nu/8q12
  Replies (14) Good night (7113) Bad night (1785)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.

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  (541): I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god. http://tfl.nu/ci1f
  Replies (10) Good night (6327) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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  (215): Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places. http://tfl.nu/tyy2
  Replies (5) Good night (3048) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that

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  (262): Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that http://tfl.nu/fjxw
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (14) Good night (1347) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine

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  (517): Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet. (1-517): Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine http://tfl.nu/xagy
  Replies (3) Good night (1176) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.

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  (415): Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me. http://tfl.nu/brt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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  (518): So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me http://tfl.nu/ljyq
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (309)

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