She's JV to your varsity
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough