god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.