when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
