Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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(813): Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that <code></code> http://tfl.nu/dm03

Replies (8) Good night (2001) Bad night (643)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.

(1-804): View more from Virginia

U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha

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(804): Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat. (1-804): U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha http://tfl.nu/198a

Replies (4) Good night (2253) Bad night (608)
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(626): View more from California

Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.

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(626): Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess. http://tfl.nu/higf

Replies (57) Good night (840) Bad night (3405)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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(570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y

Replies (20) Good night (3924) Bad night (590)
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(540): View more from Virginia

woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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(540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j

Replies (26) Good night (1124) Bad night (4648)
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(813): View more from Florida

Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

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(813): Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book http://tfl.nu/eyxq

Replies (12) Good night (2925) Bad night (787)
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(914): View more from New York

I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world

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(914): I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world http://tfl.nu/9m7n

Replies (40) Good night (5865) Bad night (1625)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

Replies (27) Good night (1288) Bad night (11442)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

thats actually pretty good logic

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(724): I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars" (412): thats actually pretty good logic http://tfl.nu/znkn

Replies (13) Good night (6299) Bad night (1307)
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(214): View more from Texas

The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night

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(214): The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night http://tfl.nu/8pzt

Replies (12) Good night (4747) Bad night (935)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna

Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (1842)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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(614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4

Replies (4) Good night (3843) Bad night (802)
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(818): View more from California

idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations

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(818): idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations http://tfl.nu/k8zk

Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (484)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.

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(304): I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol. http://tfl.nu/oqf8

Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (338)
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(224): View more from Illinois

How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?

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(224): How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister? http://tfl.nu/hq7k

Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (648)

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