I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
