Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.