so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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