You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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