i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
