Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
