Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize