Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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