There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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