You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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