we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
