Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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