You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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