just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
