dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
