so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
These tits shall not be calmed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
