I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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