i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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