hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize