I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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