We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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