Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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