"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
