haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
