what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
bring money and cleavage
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
