Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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