so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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