just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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