you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
