She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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