so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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