The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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