I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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