so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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