Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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