do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
