Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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