You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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