i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
