eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
