if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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