And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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